


In the beginning

by Tyrelingkitten



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Sassy, alternative universe, justgetlayd fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 08:45:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3563411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyrelingkitten/pseuds/Tyrelingkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yixing's friends gifted him a lifesize doll for his birthday. It then decides to turn into a real life person. Yixing is not impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> warnings - sexual innuendos

**0 - The Beginning**  


It was in the middle of May, when Yixing met Yifan.   
  
The sun light peaked through the slither of window shades, brightening the room, disturbing the once-dark room. His alarm clock ticking rhythmitically each passing second, each passing minute. Yixing had curled deeper under his blankets, warmth eveloping his body almost entirely up to his nose. Several hair strands were poking his eyelid. Yixing absently swiped at the hair strands, groaning as he shifted underneath the thick blankets.   
  
His hand had slapped bare skin.   
  
Since there was no stinging sensation of any part of his body, Yixing had frowned and squeezed his eyelids open to see what he had hit.   
  
There was a thick gray blur at first. Then slowly the foggy image sharpened into a face. A long face with stump chin and thick eyebrows.   
  
Yixing had given the man a slow blink. His brain slowly caught up with the implication and Yixing shoved a pillow into the stranger's face, throwing off his blankets with one sweep.   
  
The stranger stumbled back in surprise and fell on his ass.   
  


"What are you doing in my house?"   
  


* * *

  
  
  
**1 - The Day Before The Beginning**  
  
  


_"Surprise! Happy birthday, Zhang Yixing. You're now another year older, getting close to thirty too! Hahah. We've prepared something special for you~ are you curious?"_  
  
The note is written in a flirty fashion, words looping with heart shapes and stickers, bright yellow and pink colors decorating each letter. He recognized the handwriting anywhere. From the way the neat strokes that faintly connected each other from one word to another, the height and width each word was carefully crafted. Lu Han and Jongdae.   
  
Quirking his eyebrows at the message, Yixing looked up from the letter and stared at the huge box standing in the hallway that led to the front door. He poke the box experimentally, waited to see a reaction and maybe wondering if one of his friends were hiding in there, or maybe they had someone hide in there (a stripper?) and then he grabbed his hands on each side and shook harder. Violently.   
  
Nope.   
  
Nothing suspicious.   
  
No surprise stripper in there.   
  
Just some light rattling and sound of crinkling plastic sheets and puffed balls moving around.  
  
Yixing stopped shaking the box and eyed each side of it, looking for clues that might hint at what's inside. He gave up quickly and decided to go on his tiptoes and pulled off the ribbons, peering between the cracks of the box.   
  
First he could make out a dark shape. Then his nose picked up the plastic scent of new clothes, sneezing in the process. He squinted his eyes at the dark shape and pulled off the top of the box.  
  
What he saw inside, made his eyes widen and Yixing lost his balance, wobbling with pained feet until he fell down, dragging the box with him.  
  
Yixing groaned at the impact, rubbing his sore back of his neck and stared in horror at a hand on his lap.   
  
And a face twisted to look at him with glassed brown eyes.   
  


* * *

  


**2 - The Day Before The Beginning II**  


_"Hi there~ this is Lu Han and Do Kyungsoo residence. Currently, we may or may not be home right now, busy with movie time, dinner time, private time and all that. Still, we're accepting messages for now and we may or may not get back to you soon enough. Please leave your heartfelt cries of vulnerable messages behind after the beep."_  
  
"Lu Han, Kyungsoo. Pick up the phone right now. I know you're there. Today is when you're both off duty. I've checked your schedules out. Pick up the phone. Don't make me come over and break down the door. Why is there a huge carton on my doorstep? No, wait, why is there a big plastic Ken doll in it? Is this some kind of joke? I recognize the getup he's in too. One of those Final Fantasy characters you use to fawn over. What am I supposed to do with a plastic life-size doll anyway? Please call back or just take the doll away."  
  
  
  


 

 _"Hello there! This is Jongdae's glasses speaking. Jongdae is not at home right now. He will be back, don't worry. In the mean time, please state your message, one word at a time, and I will try my best to let him see it before he switches me with the new improved glasses nr. 2."_  
  
"Jongdae. Yixing here. I've to say I was surprised but not so much. You're part of my list of suspects who bought this mannequin. I know where you live."  
  
  
  


 

 _"Yo~~ you've reached Baekhyunnie's humble abode. I'm not at home right now. Busy busy busy every day. But don't let my absence deter you from leaving a message, hugs and kisses, anything you want to leave for me kekekeke. I'll get right back to you as soon as I can. With the speed of light, you can betcha."_  
  
"Hi Baekhyun. This is Yixing speaking. Come to my apartment at seven. Sharp. No excuses. Don't tell anyone."  
  


* * *

  
  
  
**3 - The Day Before The Beginning III**  
  


"I think he looks handsome." Lu Han said. There was a lilt in his voice, the tone so familiar that Yixing wanted to smack him behind his head. But since his friend was standing a little further apart, Yixing shot him his best glare which was lost in the distance between them.  
  
"And you would know?" Yixing narrowed his eyes at his friend, who was laughing jaw unhinged. The idiot creeper look distorted Lu Han's face into a fifty-year old lecher with crowfeet wrinkling the corner of his eyes. Lu Han would kick him in the balls if he heard Yixing so much criticize his face for looking ancient.   
  
"At least he's tall," Kyungsoo pointed out. Yixing took another look and grudgingly agreed. While he himself was just around 175, the rest of his friends varying from height closest to his own, the object of their focus--the Ken mannequin was taller than everyone by another ten centimeters and maybe more. The longer limbs make up for the smaller body. He's basically huge everywhere. Except, well, Yixing pointedly ignored the urge to rake his eyes from the abs down. Although he can't say the same for his friends, who were blatantly admiring the noticeable bulge.   
  
"He's totally your type." Baekhyun joined in, throwing an arm around Yixing's neck and pressing close to Yixing's shoulder.   
  
"He has a type to speak of?" Jongdae snorted and then wheezed out a pained laughter when Yixing shoved an elbow between his ribs.  
  
"Wow, guys," Yixing deadpanned, "Thank you for the gift. I very much appreciate this... model." Yixing eyed the mannequin warily.  
  
His friends gave him matching cheshire grins, smiles stretched open showing rows of gleaming teeth. All of them combined made a foreboding sight of terror. Lu Han with his creeper smile, Kyungsoo with his angry eyebrows look, Jongdae with his feline curvy smile and Baekhyun with his twinkling mischievous eyes.  
  
"I told you he would love it." Lu Han said, his grin turning a fraction into a smirk, elbowing Kyungsoo.  
  
"You also thought it'd be useful to get him a pack of strawberry flavored condoms from the kink shop." Kyungsoo said nonchalantly.   
  
"We should've set him in the birthday cake and surprise you." Jongdae wiggled his eyebrows. "Without clothes."  
  
"And a big red ribbon around his penis." Baekhyun grinned, and cried out in shock when Kyungsoo pinched his arm. "Ow! Hey, what was that for?"  
  
"Nothing." Kyungsoo answered, ignoring the dirty look Baekhyun gave him.  
  
"And?"   
  
"Just because."  
  
"That's not a good reason!"   
  
"You're turning this conversation into something weird."  
  
"What do you mean weird? It's the most normalest kink ideal on the list. Presenting someone naked and all ribboned. You'd rather we present him on the table, while serving pasta and ice cream on his plastic flat, unbalanced stomach and his chest muscles and let Yixing lick him off?"  
  
Everyone stared at Baekhyun.   
  
"What?" A red flush immediately colored Baekhyun's face. "Why is everyone staring at me? It's just a suggestion."  
  
"Baekhyun," Yixing said slowly. "I didn't know you were into that."   
  
Lu Han burst out laughing.   
  
"Gee, now where should I put him?" Yixing cut them off before things got out of hand.  
  
"Your bed," Baekhyun sniggered, wincing as he rubbed the sore spots Kyungsoo had attacked him. "is the best option."  
  
"You all think I'm desperate to get laid by using a blown up life-size doll? Which I am not interested in. Thank you very much."   
  
Lu Han shrugged. "Well, at least it's something to think of. You know, inanimate object kinks to relieve stress."   
  
Yixing groaned, resting his forehead in his hand in mock frustration. "You are all really bad, bad people. I don't even know why I'm still friends with you."   
  
"We're the only ones willing to put up with you and your sad love life." Jongdae said solemnly as he threw an arm around Yixing to comfort him.  
  
  
  


* * *

  


**4 - Back to the Beginning**  
  
"What are you doing in my home?" Yixing repeated.  
  
The man stared at Yixing, his face blank. His thick eyebrows creased together and the man blinked, as if trying to decipher whatever Yixing had spewn was worth answering to. The ticking of the clock became louder as every second passed, stretching the awkward silence far longer than it should.  
  
"Look," Yixing sighed in annoyance,"If you want to rob my apartment, you're doing a bad job here. My laptop is the other way." Yixing pointed out helpfully.   
  
The other man tilted his head slightly. Still looking confused. And then he looked down to himself, at his hands, admiring them in wonder. It's only when Yixing decided to really look at the other man, that he realized the stranger looked quite familiar. Long limbs. Large hands. Blond hair appearing awfully wavy. Yixing's eyes widened. He looked around his room, trying to confirm his suspicions.   
  
Last night his friends had made sure to keep the mannequin comfortably lying on Yixing's love seat, 'in case he was still interested in doing dirty' as Lu Han had said it. Today, however, the mannequin was no longer in its original place.  
  
The mannequin had gained flesh and bones.  
  
"I am human now." was what the stranger said in awe and he flashed Yixing a gummy smile. "Now, you must marry me."  
  
Yixing grabbed the nearest weapon, his other pillow, and promptly smashed it squarely into the stranger's face.

 

* * *

 

**End**


End file.
